There is something magical about the first date. You spend the day wondering whether you’ll hit it off, then lower your standards to whether she will even show up. Then when you finally meet you wonder whether she will be anything like when you first said hi to eachother, which was probably in a bar drunk.
When I get someones number on a night out and then arrange a date it can be uncomfortably close to a blind date, depending on the drinking levels of that initial meeting. Then I have to play the game of “should I know that information already?”
You don’t really meet people in as pure a form as the first date. When else do you do that? Most people are friends of friends or work colleagues who you slowly piece together a psychological profile over months of subtle research, with dating you both go into it being much more direct with your analysis. That side is pretty refreshing.
I actually end a first date knowing more facts about a person than people I’ve known for years. I don’t know how many siblings Bruce from accounting has, or whether Stella the receptionist likes Lord of the Rings - although her lack of reaction to my quoting Saruman suggests she doesn’t.
This small talk can be hard but its still so much better than via messages. Whether its Tinder or Happn or just messaging in general, its not my style. My tone and body language is 100% of my communication, if not more. I can sometimes be a little dry and sarcastic which is hard to read in message form.
It can take a few goes to work out the tricks and tactics to a first date scenario but I think I cam say that I have. Little things like listening to what they have to say, treating them as a human being and being honest, its so much easier than the elaborate lies of my youth. So thats what I go with now. I just tell them “Hi, I’m George, I’m an aspiring comedian and I live with my parents.”