Sometimes I like to wonder how long I’d last in solitary. I’m one of those types that can sit on their own for extended periods of time thinking stupid thoughts that achieve nothing.
Thats what makes me so shocked when someone tells me they’re bored. Bored! How can anyone be bored in the 21st century?
Boredom didn’t actually exist as a concept until 1852 (thanks Dickens). It makes sense, you don’t have time to be bored when you’re working 18 hours a day to feed your two dozen children and cover any medical expenses to the local white witch.
Or go even further back, its hard to imagine Grog sitting with his wife staring at the stars and screaming out into the savannah “The african plain is so BORING!” Grog was too busy trying not to die from cold or tiger mouth.
After 6000 years of civilisation humans have finally progressed to the point where our population has time to do something other than hunt for, or avoid being, food. It’s the greatest sign of how we have progressed and what do we do with this extra time and amazing luxury? Sit in our houses and complain about having it.
I actually struggle to imagine it, there isn’t enough time in the day to sleep the appropriate amount, eat and enjoy a nice shower, let alone all that "working" nonsense. These people saying they're bored need to learn to enjoy themselves a little more in the shower.
Especially now with the modern phenomenon of the distraction economy, how can you be bored? The issue should be distractions now, not boredom. We officially live in the future where we can just sit there for 10 hours, lights from our magic boxes coldly reflected in our slackjawed gaze, enjoying an article we’ll forget the second we stop reading it. Its great!
Or you can watch videos, there are 300 hours of content added to Youtube every minute, so if you didn’t like what was on there before starting this article by now you have another 2 weeks worth to get through.
You could even go outside for a walk and take in the air and...no lets not go crazy.
The only excuse for boredom is that you’re one of those people that likes hanging out with people. Those sick, twisted, psychopathic, social weirdos. The kind that, when on their own, bang their heads against the walls and froth at the mouth and thats just when they have to go to the bathroom. Personally I'm quite jealous of those people, they must achieve so much. You'd have a thousand schemes, plots and machinations going all the time just to avoid the risk of being on your own for more than 10 minutes and realising you're completely insane. What an unfair advantage in life!
Really the easily bored should have to pay extra taxes, that way they get to stay busy while I pay no taxes and get paid for doing nothing, everybody wins!
Looks like I'm going into politics.